Nuvver sunset

This one's from the office window. We won't be in this office much longer, which is a pity because it's nice to watch the storms roll in, and if we happen to be there at 6.30-ish we get some nice sunsets. The new offices are in "Rasa Tower", a swanky building about a mile away from the old one. We'll be one floor lower, aspect unknown. No doubt I'll witter on about it when I get there.

Bit breathless

Bit breathless this week, for two reasons; Lyn is here so there are things to do and people to see, and also we keep going to my new swanky Gym and getting out of breath.

So sorry not much blogging happening.

News:

• FAT (testing) is ongoing on our system, so far so good. I want this thing out of my life!
• Bike has now done over 1000km and I'm allowed to do 60mph
• Lyn is jetlagged but should be ok by the time we get to Vietnam this weekend

That's about it I'm afraid. Just off to arrange our Visa's for our "Tour in 'Nam". More breathlessness.

Be goood.

Absolutely sloshed

Got very very wet on the way home today, it being the "season of occasional downpours in Thailand" (for the less observant, that's "SOD IT!!" for short). Luckily I followed suit with the natives as soon as it started, scurrying under the nearest bridge to wait it out, then dejectedly donning hopelessly inadequate waterproofs and setting out again when it showed no sign of abating. The natives all do creative stuff with bin liners and shopping bags but I had my pac-a-mac and leggings handy. By the time I got home my feet were as wet as Roger Federer's t-shirt.

While we're on sweating, I just got back from the gym. I did what's basically too expensive in the UK unless you're a Bank chief exec, and joined one of those big glitzy ones with four floors of stepping/cycling/cross-training/hybrid machines and awful disco music blaring out all day long. It's possible here because it's only the equivlaent of £30 a month, and it's air conditioned. So I don't have to trudge round Lumphini Park in 35 degrees and I can get away with one bottle of water per session. I managed 2km of rowing (8 min 28 sec if you're feeling competitive) followed by 30 mins on the bike. Next time I'll try running but I wanted to ease myself back in today with some low-impact stuff. My poor old bones.

While we're (still) on exercise, Lyn's been for two - count 'em - two runs this week. I swear by the time she gets here on Sunday she'll look like a speccy (and slightly less vacuous) version of Barbie. Sorry love, no offence.

Not much more to tell really. Oh, Lyn went to a "July 4th Quiz-B-Q" dressed as a cowboy. Here's evidence:



Going back to this blog's title (what, you thought it was about water? Ha), she got so drunk she left my nice hat, which she'd borrowed without consent, at the party. I'm incensed. In order to prove you've retrieved the hat, dear, you'll have to bring it to Thailand. And while you're at it you might as well bring the rest of the outfit as well - just in case we get invited to a fancy address party you understand, no other reason of course. Ahem.

Better go now. Be good

That time

I didn't get a chance to blog and now I'm back in Bangkok with nothing but good news about my trip. Unless you count having the trots, spending four nights on a titanium slab masquerading as a mattress, getting up at 5am to climb onto a "personal basket" (see video), being transported by boat to the workplace for 7am, doing a whole day of watching the other guy fix everything, then doing the whole transfer-by-boat thing to be home by 8pm, to sleep on the slab for two or three fitful hours, to do it all again...sorry but you got me started.

The good news is, fingers crossed, he (Mr Wonderware) fixed it and we can now get on with finishing the job. That starts this weekend when I work Saturday and Sunday to get ready for a test next week. No rest for the righteous.

Some photgraphic/videographic evidence of my trip:


This is me using a personal basket to get off the crew boat and onto the platform. Did this at beginning and end of every day because we stayed on Millennium, whcih is normally alongside but has been moved a mile away to give room for some new pipelines to be installed.

Mister Wonderware (Chuan - nice guy) and Peter posing.

Sunrise from Millennium deck. Good eh?
Benchamas platform, twice.

This time..

Back to the platform tomorrow. I have a 4am pickup, yuck.

This time I know it's for real. We're going in and we are going to fix it. We have Mr Wonderware with us, and he's packing a suitcase full of hotfixes.....

I'll report from the Platform because I know you're all on the edges of your seats.

Hopefully I'll be back in Bangkok by next Friday in time for tea and medals, and looking forward to wifey's visit.

Be good, and wish me luck

Nun's the word

..so I'm saying nothing..

Wifey is imminent

Just to say, Lyn is coming to see me in a couple of weeks. I couldn't be happier, and with her birthday approaching, what better present than a trip to Ha Long bay, Vietnam, while she's out here?
Don't tell her I remembered her birthday will you?

Anyone still reading?

I wouldn't blame anyone for abandoning ferret times, lord knows the content's been a bit sparse lately. I'm lacking new material, that's the problem. Presumably when I finally go to Bangladesh I'll have something to report.

While I'm on I'll give a snippet: I took the long way home from work today, to put some miles on the bike. Took me 3.5 hours and I covered 100 miles. Now that's a long way round. My cheeks are giving me gyp now though.

Staying below 4000rpm. Next time second-hand.

63kph is about 40mph - I did this for 3.5 hours...

Yes that's a sunset, and I rode into it.

The height of laziness, but they do such a good job.


In other news, I'm probably going to the platform on Monday with a man from California, who is an expert on the type of software we use. He's supposed to fix it quick snap so we can all sleep easy at night. I'll believe it when I see it.

In other other news, I've booked a flight home for August 21st. I'll be home for a week and hopefully get to see a few people. That includes you, daughter. Then when I come back I'll bring Lyn AND her sister, so I'll have visitors for a while - all very exciting.

In still more other news, It looks like Bangladesh is now going to be in September but in this game you never know - I could be gone at any time with a couple of days notice.

In other still more other news, wifey's not online tonight and I heard a strong rumour that she's hung over. That'll be too much plonk round at Maureen's then. Anyway since I'm not talking to her I have time to write this blog so not so bad eh?

By the way, I've promised myself some exercise this week because I'm starting to get a bit couch-potato-ish. Hold me to it you lot, I need peer pressure. I do have the number of a guy in Bangkok who can play squash so that's an option but I'd need to be fitter than I am, or I'm likely to keel over on court. Yes I know, not funny.

I'll keep a close watch on the site hit-counter. If the hit rate drops below 5 a day I'll park the site till I've got something to say. Otherwise I'll just keep scribbling drivel since enough people seem to like it.

Be good.

Zanzibar

Well, we did indeed meet up in Nairobi, and it was indeed romantic. I won't forget the sight of Lyn running back through the metal detector at the Nairobi departure lounge, and leaping into my arms, much to my delight, and the embarrassment of the Moslem/Conservative/Po-faced staff. For a while it had looked like I was going to miss the flight so we were both relieved that we would be arriving in Zanzibar together.

The short flight to Zanzibar was nice, despite a rather persistent (and quite successful, as we discovered next day) Mosquito which came along for the ride. The pilot announced we were flying at 19,200 feet, at which point I remembered that Kilimanjaro is exactly that size. Lo and behold, I looked out of the window and there it was in all its glory, looking close enough to touch in the bright African sunshine. Unforgettable. Note to self: organise another trip to Tanzania, and bring hiking boots.

Our first 5 nights were spent in a Hotel in the centre of Stone Town, aka Zanzibar town, the largest town on the island. The town has narrow streets and lots of old buildings from the island's heyday, one of which is 236 Hurumzi:

236 Hurumzi, our hotel in Stone Town. We stayed 4 nights in the "Keep Suite" and one in the "Seyyed Suite". The Hotel is famously the "second tallest building in Stone Town" and commands a great view of the city. The Keep was an excellent place for relaxing and that's what we did. The Hotel also has a rooftop restaurant which is just spectacular. Here are some pics that don't do it justice:






Then we moved on to Matemwe in the North East of the island, for a proper beach holiday. White sand and mosquitos would be my abiding memories. That and the most relaxing 6 nights I've spent since learning to walk. Some photos:

Pool area


Beach..




We spent three days in this hut.


Doesn't show very well here, but the coral sand is so white it nearly blinds you. Soft too. I'm more used to sewage-laden sludge, as in Ainsdale/Southport/Blackpool.

All in all a wonderful experience. Saying bye in Zanzibar airport wasn't nice, but I intend to be in New Mills as soon as possibe. Unless Lyn comes over here of course...

Suvarnabhumi Airport

Our romantic meeting in Nairobi is looking increasingly un-romantic. I've just learned that I'm taking off from Bangkok an hour late(01:30 am, brr), giving me just enough time at the other end to find the gate (and hopefully my wife) and board the flight to Zanzibar. Ah well, it was a nice idea. Hope she's faring better - she should be in Amsterdam by now. Since this will be my last post for a couple of weeks, you'll all have to wait for the end of the story.

Later.

Jab Hunting

I needed a yellow fever jab, so on arrival from the plarform on Friday I made enquiries at the local hospital (Bumrungad - unfortunate name, award-winning establishment. I almost wish I was Ill so I could spend some time there).

I was told "So sorry mister, cannot" and that only two places do it, numbers attached. I called the first number and a nice lady said "Yes mister, can. This afternoon". Great!

I asked for dircetions and was told to visit their website. Disaster! It was all in Thai. I Googled the name of the place - Bamrasnaraduran Institute or summat - and found an address - only ten minutes from my apartment. Great!

I brushed my hair, left with twenty minutes to go before my appointment, grabbed a motorcycle taxi.

On arrival I was met with blank stares. Disaster - I was in the wrong place! I handed in the bit of papaer with the phone number on and they called it for me. "This place is not in Bangkok mister" she said apologetically, asif it was her fault I was in the wrong city.

She spoke nicely and the lady promised to wait for me. The place is actually in Nonthaburi, about ten miles Noth-East of Bangkok. Apparently the journy can be done in an hour in a taxi. Great! I flagged a taxi, showed him the new address - he drove on, shaking his head. Disaster! Friday afternoon Bangkok traffic is notorious, especially if you are trying to leave the city.

The third taxi I stopped, the guy said he would take me there but had no idea of how long it would take. I took a chance and got in. Disaster! He stunk of alcohol and had no idea where he was going. He went the wrong way twice, despite me handing him the phone so the nice lady (who we meet later in the story) could give him directions.

I repeatedly rang ahead to explain that yes I was still in Bangkok but on my way. She was very understanding, but at pains to point out that my driver was incompetent. Eventually I threw some money at him and got out. Found a motorcycle taxi, handed him the phone - he knew the place and got me there in ten minutes. Great!

I finally met the lady on the phone, who turned out to be the person who actually gives the injections. She was really nice to me and explained that despite the fact that the clinic had closed an hour ago, she was waiting for her daughter anyway so I had not inconvenienced her. I unleashed a charm offensive anyway, probably because I was so relieved that I was going to get my jab and avoid twenty lashes from wifey. Anyway, I felt like I knew her since we'd been through so much together. Her name was (is) Pornladda.

I got my jab and my ten-year certificate which I'll doubtless lose in the next few weeks like I did the last one, and she called me a taxi, reassuring me that this one would be sober AND know where he was going. While waiting for my taxi, she asked me to stop for dinner. Disaster! My charm offensive had obviously been too effective. I settled for promising to send a postcard from Zanzibar and got into the cab.

Next day was Malaria day. My herculean efforts to get th YF jab would come to nothing, and I'd back in line for twenty of the best, if I turned up in Nairobi empty-handed vis-a-vis Malarial prophylaxis. I wandered over to good old Bumrungrad, which I repeat is a wonderful hospital, and swanned around reading magazines, drinking coffee and receiving clear instructions wher to go next for an hour or so.

I came away with some Lariam, which was disappointing because I know from my Angola adventure that Malarone is the drug of choice. Unfortunately it's not available in Thailand. I got home and read Wikipaedia on Lariam and swiftly changed my mind. I recommend anyone considering a trip to Africa to read that virtual assassination af a drug. I promise, it pulls no punches. Apparently the world is full of people who took a chance and had a very bad experience on Lariam. Nightmares, hallucinations, mild psychoses, depression, the list goes on and I want no part of it, in fact I'd rather take the chance of malaria. Ah well, at least I tried.

Enough drivel for now. Be good while I'm gone eh?

Chopper Time

Leaving the platform today - hurrah!

Doubtless I'll be back though - booo!

Off to Zanzibar in 5 days - hurrah!

But I have to go for yellow fever injection or they won't let me in - booo!

Meeting Lyn in Nairobi airport on Thursday - hurrah!

I've read that it's the world's scruffiest airport - booo!

When I come back I'm off to Bangladesh - hurrah!

But it's monsoon season - booo!

Be good.

Citrus, Piss and Muster

In other news, I see that wifey's exhibition (were some other people involved too?) went well, and she got quite drunk. Well done wifey, wish I'd been there. There will be others.

Here on the platform life continues at its breathless and metronomic pace but I now see a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel, and it is very welcome. The job's not finished, and I will be back here at some time, but I do have an opportunity for a break from it. Bangladesh will be a breath of damp, cumin-laden fresh air.

I went on about my wave-ceptor watch a few posts ago, and mentioned that during this trip I will be too far from a mast to pick up a signal, so expected it to drift. I checked it after two weeks - spot on. Who needs radio masts? Very strange. Maybe it's picking up a rogue signal bounced off a cloud or summat. Maybe it's just a good watch.

No gym this trip, there isn't one on the Millennium (apart from some bits of rusty iron lying around in the rain - or is that pipework?) and I didn't fancy the ten-minute trudge through the three platforms in my gear to get to the other one. You have to put a lifejacket on to even walk up the gangway to the main platform. People do play footy on the helideck here, but it's all Thais and they probably would not take too kindly to a dirty great farang kicking lumps off them (my style of football is somewhat brutal - in fact I don't really like football, I just like violence), and anyway they play with a "ball" made of scrunched up paper wrapped in sellotape. Must have lost too many over the side. There must be hundreds of plastic footballs in this sea. I wonder if they all drift together Sargasso-style, and float along like duck-apples... Anyway I digress. No gym so I'm unfit, but since I'm going on holiday and will be doing nothing more strenuous (ahem) than lifting the odd glass, it doesn't really matter. After my cholesterol levels were meausured as high, I cut down on dairy, red meat and fat for this trip so I won't be too much of a beached whale. Not at the start of the holiday anyway. By the end of it I'll probably have stretch marks on my belly and love-hadles like, well, handles.

Some photos:

Well I resisted eating these green fruit at first, because green oranges are just plain WRONG. Delicious though - I'm hooked on them now.

There was a fire drill and we all had to stand around on deck for twenty minutes, so I resorted to taking photographs. Note bored expression. Might as well write "I'd rather be in Zanzibar" across the front of my hat.

This is what the Ocean is good for. I had to crop this picture somewhat...


More fire-drill photography.

I'll be waving goodbye to the old tub soon..

More soon - or maybe after Zanzibar. Meeting Lynny in Nairobi on thursday 4th, then we are both on the same flight to Z (how romantic is THAT?). I said we could meet in the bar, but then realised it will be 7am. Mind you, we will be on holiday so why not?

Be good - you know I will.

Zanzibar

It's on. We're off to the spice island for some ... spice.

Eleven nights without the following:

Computers

Phones

Worries

Cares

Deadlines

Interruptions

Rain

Traffic

Alarm Clocks

Fire drills

Hard hats

Boots

Earplugs

..but with the following:

Sun

Sea

Sand

..Spice (ahem)

Sandals

Snorkels

Second floor suites

Sultan-sized beds

We'll be out of touch with anyone (that includes you) from June 4th to June 15th, when I'll put a review here.

It goes without saying that I'm looking forward to it immensely. We might even learn to scuba dive if we're sober for long enough.

Now I just have to get through these last ten days here. Don't get me started on what that's going to be like. See you on the other side. If I get a chance to blog in the meantime I will, but it will probably be a protracted whinge about commissioning, deadlines etc so if I were you I wouldn't look forward to it. Oh, I have some video of (would you believe) the sea to post. Watch this space.

Be good

For those who lose track..

I've added a "Blimey, where is he?" current location panel - top right. Stop asking now.

Trip's Off

Just found out that I'm not coming home next week after all. I have to stay here till the end of May. Curses.

Ah well, at least I get a proper holiday before Bangladesh. Has anyone been there by the way? Good curries I suppose, and lots of water. Stop press - I just looked on Wiki - Bangladesh has more people than Russia, which is 120 times the size. Now THAT is crowded.

White Whale

Some film of me drumming in my shorts, yum.

I suppose this will go down like a le d balloon, but can you people give me a progress report on my drumming? The sound quality is not good on this clip, there seems to be some interference but...



Let me know what you think.

A Walk in the Gulf

Here's my walk to work, set to Elbow's "Mirrorball", which I'm loving at the moment. Nice mellow love song, which I'll dedicate to you, Lyn, because you make the moon my mirrorball.

Oh, I found the caption tool on moviemaker too...



Be good

... and I'm proud

Now, where was I? Ah, the airport. What a surprise.

I wasn't actually going to post anything interesting so in some respects it's good that the plane began boarding just as I logged on. Probably saved you all from having to read even more twaddle. It was two weeks ago anyway so I was probably going to babble on excitedly about my then-news about Bangladesh. I'm now less excited about it so will just say that it's likely I'll be off there late May.

The journey home:

Well I had reserved aisle seats on both flights so naturally I was given blank stares and "Sorry sir no aisle seats available" at the checkin desk. Did I say I liked Emirates? That's now in doubt. I spent the first flight sandwiched between an overweight Aussie who couldn't give up his armrest without major surgery and an injection of manners, and a young Nigerian guy who apparently dreamed he was in a marathon break-dancing competition, and also had no concept of personal space, boundaries, molestation etcetera. Six hours of this had me in a light and airy mood for my arrival at Dubai airport, which as I've mentioned before was designed exclusively for those who never go to the toilet. I hate the place because, like most people, I go to the toilet quite often. In my opinion the airport is flawed. I can almost hear how the conversation went at the design meeting -

"Hmm now then, toilets or no toilets?"

"Well, how many people are we talking?"

"Oh about two million a day."

"Ok that's a lot. Build two traps, that should cover it."

"Good plan, Sheikh"

"Oh, and hide them"

"Righto"

I made damned sure I hogged the armrests on the second flight, which was otherwise uneventful.

The (busman's) holiday:

It was lovely to be in Derbyshire in springtime. I spent most of the time working but did manage one bike ride over to Chapel and back via Hayfield. Beautiful.

I had a birthday while I was home. A quiet affair with a few friends around for dinner. It was nice, and I was given two chocolate cakes. I'll say it again - there is no finer thing than chocolate.

Speaking of presents, my new Casio "Wave Ceptor" watch is ace. Never wrong, imagine that. Except when I'm outside Europe of course, then it's as wrong as any quartz watch - which is very wrong. Watches tell us the time with such conviction that sometimes it's just too easy to take them at face value, so to speak. I've lost count of the number of people who've told me how their watches are deadly accurate, a conviction which crumbles quickly under the simplest of tests, ie dialling 123. I love it, pedant that I am, and it's an effort not to keep ringing the speaking clock just to check it hasn't drifted by half a second. This gets wifey very angry, which is a bonus.

In other news, we took a drive over to St Helens to see the enormous "Dream" sculpture which has appeared on a hill adjacent to the M62. I took some pics:

It's a stunning piece of sculpture, very thought-provoking and quite beautiful, even if from a distance it looks like a giant knob. Oops, did I say that? I only meant to think it. I do hope the locals don't spray gafitti all over the thing. Here's some info on the work: http://www.culture24.org.uk/art/live+art/public+art/art66988

In yet more news, we took a spade and a plastic bag to the riverside (they loved it, guffaw), with the intention of photographing a bit of field, then digging up a clod and bringing it back to photograph again in the studio. If you're wondering why, ask the artist. I'm just the spade-carrier. Anyway, we got our clod and were sloping off back to the car...


... when we met the Burtons, who assured us that the Police had been there the night before... looking for people with spades and bags. It seems the riverside is an ideal place for burying and retreiving illegal drugs. Good job we didn't wait till nightfall - imagine trying to explain.

What else happened? Let me think...ah, I had a lovely drum lesson (thanks Michael if you're reading) and found out how little progress I've made since coming here. This time I've brought a full-on electronic practice pad to the platform, but dunno if I'll get time to play. Need to borrow a PP3 if I want it to work anyway. That's a battery, for our younger readers.

On No.1 daughter's advice I've started reading Steven Erikson's "Malazan" epic fantasy series. However since I've been jet lagged every day since buying the first volume, I'm only about ten pages in. Review to follow. I've now read all of Iain M Banks' sci fi stuff and I'll continue with his "normal" novels soon. Then there's Bill Bryson to read. Gosh where will I find the time?

The Journey Back:

..was uneventful. I landed in Bangkok at 6.30 pm, got to my apartment (hello drums) at 7.30 pm, went to bed at 9 pm and got up again at 4 am for a chopper flight. This was two days ago and I'm still having "senior moments". Today I woke up with such a start from a vivid daydream (lyn fell out of a plane) that everybody in the office laughed at me. I was mortified and terrified simultaneously.

Sundry other items:

Had an email today from sirsir, saying the Bangladesh trip is 90% going ahead and he recommends I take a week off between platform(here) and gasplant(there). That's me booking a flight home then. Hurrah! Barring any objections from the other team members, that means I'll get to see wifey's end-of-year exhibition. Fingers crossed.

My motorcylce was exactly where I left it.

Ditto my drums (sob)

I'm staying on the Millenium this trip, which means there's actually a chance of seasickness if the weather deteriorates. So far so good, in fact last night I couldn't feel any movement at all. Mind you, I was comatose ten seconds after closing my book. Staying on "The barge" means I get to meander around the lower decks of the structure. I'll do a journey-to-work video tomorrow.

Speaking of video, I did a pastiche of bits including the chopper taking off from the main platform helipad, but it was boring to watch so I didn't bother uploading it. It's not like you haven't seen a chopper before is it?

Be good...

I'm back

..but i'm too tired to think of anything to blog. I see from the hit counter that some people have been checking from time to time, and thank you all for that. I'll post a lengthy description of what has happened since my last post (23 April) in a day or so, when I recover from jet lag. It (the post) will include a 20-metre-tall head, a 20-metre-long chopper and some skulduggery by a river with a spade. Interested? Gah, you're easily pleased.

Be good.